The Shock of my 1st Human Design Reading

I guess it’s a good thing I’m designed to withstand a little shock in my life (Personality Sun in the 51st gate). When I got my first reading in October 2009, and then started to actually absorb the “news,” it WAS shocking. Everything I’d been trained to do to be successful, and everything I was helping others do for the same result, was challenged.

First of all, what is so special about being similar to about 70% of the people on the planet? Plus, who wants to be a Generator; I’d rather be a Manifestor! Too bad.

Anyway, here is what I learned, accompanied by my mental dialogue. Recognize anything?

  • It is NOT correct for me to go after life. It is best to wait, to see what life brings me, and only then do I respond to what it presents.
    (Um, excuse me, but I’m a business owner. How in the world will I succeed if I WAIT?)
  • Mine is a spontaneous life, one lived moment-by-moment.
    (Seriously? I’m an expert worrier and planner.)
  • Decisions for my life are not found in plus and minus columns, or values, goals and purpose. No. Correct direction in my life is revealed through sounds in response to what comes my way: Ah hunh (yes), Uh-un (no), Mmmmm (I don’t know). No explanation, no reason, no argument – and not personal. Yes, no and maybe.
  • Undefined Ego: I am not designed to make promises. If I willfully make promises it diminishes my life force and I’m likely to disappoint myself and others anyway.
    (Who is going to TRUST me if I don’t make promises? That’s not very reliable!)
  • I am not an emotional being
    (Are you kidding me? What’s with all this sensitivity of mine?)
  • I am not here to find my purpose
    (OMG, I’ve been spending my life searching for my purpose!)

I’ll bet you think this is nuts. I did too. Yet, I noticed a deep sense of relief at the very same time my mind was wondering who and what I would become if I stopped going after life and waited for it to come to me.

Now, almost 5 years after first learning all these things I’m starting to see how this actually works. My mind still throws up concerns about my welfare, and most often, about what people will think of me. Nonetheless, the life I have now is so much more satisfying, even when it feels like I could lose everything! And, it does some days. That’s just the mind. I’m still here. We’ll see.

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